As a young boy, I lived in the country of upstate New York where I raised rabbits in a large field that my family referred to as our backyard. After the death of my grandfather, those rabbits served to be some of my closest of friends that I had as a kid. Despite many years of human instincts to do so, me and my family of lions never prayed upon our close rabbit friends.
In some silly childish dispute over a cassette tape or something petty, the likes of which I do not even remember the details of, I captured the attention, frustration, and anger of a troubled boy who shared the same age as I.
One night, while me and my family were asleep, the boy traveled a quarter of a mile through the darkness of the countryside; so that he may sneak his way onto the many acres of land to which we lived. He crept up the large field behind our house and entered a sizable shed where the rabbits were kept at night for their own safety against wolves and coyotes. The boy grabbed each and every rabbit, one by one, and went on to snap the backs of all of my friends. Not a single one was left alive. To this day, I hate myself for having slept through their squeals of terror as the boy, a wolf, was allowed entry into the safety of their sacred domain.
Prior to today, there are only two human beings that I have ever shared that story with. It was that moment in my life that I discovered the tremendous darkness that pulses through the veins of a human being. Humanity, in and of itself, can at times be considered a sickness within the universe. Our emotions are unlike anything else we have ever seen within the animal kingdom. Even our distant relative, the monkey falls short in comparison, though they can come close at times. Perhaps, that is subconsciously why I have always disliked monkeys, but that is besides the point.
Today as an adult, I don't put much blame on the boy, or at least I try not to. While what he did stands alone as one of the sickest things that I could ever imagine, I, in truth, place the blame on the head of the boy's father. You see, his father was, and likely still is, a complete and utter piece of shit. It is the job of a father to raise a son in ways that a mother simply cannot. While both a mother and a father offer much, I believe that at the core, a mother gifts intelligence and love while a father grants wisdom and compassion.
That event in my life may very well be the defining moment to which a monster was born within me.
I was recently asked, "Why are your stories so dark?" and I shrugged it off. I honestly do not know where the darkness comes from, perse, but with eyes wide open to the truth's of the world, I bleed my soul onto paper for you to take with a grain of salt as you will.
This is why my message is always to better yourself, show compassion for animals and other beings as you seek the truths of life on your own pursuit of happiness. Our species can love. We Can show others compassion and life is spectacular. Much like our own souls, the universe is just as equally bright and beautiful as it is dark and sad.
There is often conflict within my heart. Driven by emotion, thoughts can become clouded as darkness begins to prevail. The struggles of survival are a never ending battle between the very elements of your soul. This is why my stories are, and always will be, drenched in emotion; heartwarming and beautiful at times, yet complex and dark at others; there always will be many great truth's to be discovered.
Widen your eyes and open your hearts. We are just getting started.